Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
