How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
