At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
