We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize