doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
