For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
