hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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