I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your penis caused this!
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