If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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