Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Holy shit dude........stairs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
