Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
