This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
