There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
