As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
