Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My pussy is not your playground.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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