Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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