Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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