He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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