Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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