Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
