god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We talked him into tasing himself.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
