Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Text me some of your sweat
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