Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
