if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
