one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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