Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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