I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
