I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
