I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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