Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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