is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
