my shit smells like andre
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
