She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
