guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
