If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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