Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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