so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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