vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she peed on how many people?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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