When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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