Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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