I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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