halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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