This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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