if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
