Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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