Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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