Quick, to the slutcave!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My ass is underappreciated
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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