And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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