I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
