i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
