I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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