This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
