He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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