I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
People with herpes should wear stickers.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
