So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I pour the whiskey from now on
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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