yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
