I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
